"...I was one of those women who was seeking love after a marriage by giving in to the men who were only after me for sex. All I have to remind me of the four brief relationships were material gifts, not love"No preaching. There's really no need. I personally know people who have 'been there, done that', meaning the sleeping around. For love, for pleasure, whatever. You know what's common about all of them? They all felt the emptiness. Sex with no strings attached is pleasurable, yes, but it can never be fulfilling.
"...However, I was fortunate to have finally found the 'right one' who loves me for myself and makes no demands on me. Although I should be happy, I am overwhelmed by my guilty feelings over my flings and fear one day that my past would be revealed to my current partner, which is why I kept putting off any marriage plans."
"So ladies, it is not worth it even if you are sleeping around for pleasure, for in the long run, you lose your dignity and life becomes meaningless. No amount of washing can take away the dirt I feel on my body!"
Oh I know there are many arguments about how premarital sex is alright. And seriously, I'm not condemning anyone who is doing it or has done it. It is not the intention for this post to be argumentative or condemning or judgemental. It is merely to state that from what I've seen so far, sex without commitment can never be half as fulfilling as when sex is cherished for what it is, a gift from God for a man and woman who have committed themselves and their lives to each other in a bond of marriage. Nowadays where the so-called "bond" of marriage appears to be so weak, it would seem idealistic to pursue the idea of saving ourselves for marriage. Well, who ever said that idealism is wrong?
Is it such a far-off idea for a man and a woman to fall in love, get married and live happily ever after? Sure, you get so many stores of unfaithful spouses, both sides of the gender. Is the problem with the constitution of marriage? Or is it with the people involved? Can't get along? Work on it. Arguing a lot? Learn how to give in. Sounds simple, doesn't it? Well, maybe it really is that simple. Maybe it's as simple as sitting down with our spouses and communicating. Or are we as a human race too immature to see the simplicity of the matter?
Anyway, I appear to be digressing. Do read this and this.
Cheers people. God bless!
Anyway, I appear to be digressing. Do read this and this.
Cheers people. God bless!
11 comments:
Thanks Ken for reading my blog. I totally support that we (however few) must make a stand for this. Seriously as I talk to my friends, so many are baffled that no sex before marriage is even a consideration! I don't think celebrities are good examples but no matter what they are an influence in today's world so if they make a stand, it makes a difference! Read this. http://chat8blog.blogspot.com/
well, maybe they didn't have sex before marriage and found out they weren't compatible in that department? hahehehae
but seriously sex is the #2 cause of divorce. money's #1.
"Sex with no strings attached is pleasurable, yes, but it can never be fulfilling."
I'd agree that sex in itself is not fulfilling, but I don't think that's the point.
In a relationship - sex or no sex - it is the respect and care given to each other that is fulfilling. The sex is important, but rarely a determinant of the relationship overall.
This means that whether you wait until marriage or not is pretty irrelevant. If you're going to live all your life with a person, it's always going to involve more than having a satisfying sex life. Thus, saying that avoiding sex before you marry will help the marriage is just giving sex too much importance.
Having said that, if two people want to wait and that's what makes sense to them, then they should do it. :)
Thanks all for dropping by =) It's good to see constructive comments rather than the usual spam when a topic like this comes up.
Julian, interesting insights =) I suppose we're both looking at it from different perspectives. I agree that sex should not be given all that importance.
I was actually referring more to casual sex and of course the "teenagers in heat" type. Both of which are lacking in commitment, or so I would believe.
So then the question will be, if 2 people are going to spend their lives together, and they already know it (but they are still unmarried), is it then right for them to have sex?
I guess for me, I would still hold out for that marriage 'milestone'. And it's because of my belief and faith in God. Of course, that's just me.
Would be great to get more views!
I pretty much supports this no sex before marriage thing...
it's my current gf that opened my eyes to it..
she brought religion back to my life..and through that , everything falls in place.. seriously..
so for me , religion played a big role in advocating the idea of no sex before marriage..
Well that's simply awesome :) Let me quote from my friend's blog over here. A quote from C.S. Lewis, this guy who wrote Narnia and is a respected theologian and academician. Or at least I think that's what he was. Haha correct me if I'm wrong!
"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."
I echo that quote, because even for me, it is knowing God that has opened my eyes in a whole new way. Indescribable.
what if you never get to find ''the one'' that will mean you'll never get to experience sex until god know how old you are.
Yes sex is special between 2 individuals. BUt it is also a choice a person make.
Among the benefits of healthy loving in a relationship
1.sex relieves stress
2.sex boost immunity
3.sex burns calories
4. Sex Improves Cardiovascular Health
5. Sex Boosts Self-Esteem
6. Sex Improves Intimacy
7. Sex Reduces Pain like PMS,headache etc
8. Sex Reduces Prostate Cancer Risk
Frequent ejaculations, especially in 20-something men, may reduce the risk of prostate cancer later in life, Australian researchers reported in the British Journal of Urology International. When they followed men diagnosed with prostate cancer and those without, they found no association of prostate cancer with the number of sexual partners as the men reached their 30s, 40s, and 50s.
But they found men who had five or more ejaculations weekly while in their 20s reduced their risk of getting prostate cancer later by a third.
So sex before marriage isn't a bad thing afterall. Quit being a nun and buy more condoms. lol
Sex is still sex. What's love without a lil lust. We all need lust to keep us sane in a relationship.
when you buy a car you need to test drive it.
totally agree with KY.
bad sex does drive your partner away especially if she can't or he can't get orgasm.
So practice makes perfect.
don't tell me, you wanna buy a car before you test drive it, bring it home and test only to find yourself not too satisfy with the car you have purchased.
sex does play a very important role in sustaining a marriage unless you are not that particular about sex. But I believe everyone should experience what great sex feels like.
The logic of buying a car is perfectly acceptable and purely logical as an isolated case in study, in its context (of purchasing a product), but, we're talking about finding a life partner here, aren't we?
No matter how truly satisfied we may have been at the point of test driving the car of our choice, if we can afford another (new) car, we would never hesitate without skipping a heartbeat and jump right at it (buying a totally brand new car)... none of us in our right mind would ever even consider being fully devoted to one car, 'cos it's (rightfully) just a car. But, again, we're not talking 'bout cars here, are we? We're talking about an all-encompassing love for one other, for the rest of our life... about being wholly devoted to one - for life.
The act of making love (sex) is a union - when two bodies are joined together; when two become one, which i firmly believe can only happen after and within a marriage union. Sex is a gift from God - the Creator - to us - His creation-, designed as a seal in marriage (as an institution which God had ordained since the creation of man); a seal which physically, emotionally and spiritually binds a couple's marriage ties. Sex is the consummation of a man's love for and to a woman... a communication that says to each other, "i belong to you, and you belong to me... 'till death do us part."
When you see it in that light, and how sex goes hand in hand with marriage, sex then becomes something that is pure, holy, beautiful, and something that is to be regarded (with respect), reserved (in purity of heart, mind and soul), and revered (for the sacrament and sanctity of marriage)... not something to be cheapened with. Sex certainly is no fun and games, something to be toyed or experimented with. Give it (sex) its proper regard and respect, as you would to the one you would only give it to. Then, sex becomes just as precious, valuable and cherished as the one you would only spend your life with, as long as you shall live.
Thank you Tim. You said it in better words than I could ever do =)
Eh, what is this?!?
You are a thoughtful and gifted writer, but, much more than that, a man of God and a dear brother in Christ (whom i am deeply honored and truly privileged to call you as such), whose integrity of character, purity of heart, and intrepidity to defend (fight for), stand (for and in) and speak the truth is a great encouragement for me to continue to do likewise. So, thank you for spurring me on in your own, special way! =)
Here are some quotes to help us to (continue to) take courage in these trying times: -
His stately ship of life, having weathered the severest storms of a troubled century, is anchored in tranquil waters, proof that courage and faith and zest for freedom are truly indestructible. The record of his triumphant passage will inspire free hearts all over the globe.
— Kennedy, John F(itzgerald)
Courage is not simply one of the virtues but the form of every virtue at the testing point.
— Lewis, C(live) S(taples)
Thought shall be the harder, heart the keener, courage the greater, as our might lessens.
— Anonymous
God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things that should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.
— Niebuhr, Reinhold
No man would set a word down on paper if he had the courage to live out what he believed in.
— Miller, Henry Valentine
My Sword, I give to him that shall succeed me in my Pilgrimage, and my Courage and Skill, to him that can get it. My Marks and Scars I carry with me, to be a witness for me, that I have fought his Battles, who now will be my Rewarder† As he went, he said, Death, where is thy Sting? And as he went down deeper, he said, Grave where is thy Victory? So he passed over, and the Trumpets sounded for him on the other side.
— Bunyan, John
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